New PDF release: 5,000 Great One Liners

By Grant Tucker

ISBN-10: 1849544824

ISBN-13: 9781849544825

Whether advised within the rugby golf equipment of Wales or the gentlemen's golf equipment of London, their sharpness and ease unites us all. brief, candy and wickedly shrewdpermanent, they carry a different position within the annals of comedy, and because the upward thrust of Twitter heralds a resurrection of the artwork shape, there turns out no higher time to have fun the immortal one-liner. during this publication, furnish Tucker does simply that, bringing jointly 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever advised in a single definitive quantity. Laugh-out-loud humorous, 5,000 nice One-Liners has all of the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you are going to ever want – and a complete lot extra.

Show description

Read or Download 5,000 Great One Liners PDF

Best british & irish books

New PDF release: The Witch's Daughter

With the daring event and tremendous magic that experience made him certainly one of fantasy's bestselling authors, R. A. Salvatore maintains the epic sequence that all started with Echoes of the Fourth Magic. sign up for him for a spellbinding story of darkness, fantasia, and unbridled mind's eye. even though many perished in the dead of night occasions earlier, a beneficial few survivors escaped, fleeing definite doom to discover a blinding, harmful land of ask yourself.

Jean Plaidy's Courting Her Highness: The Story of Queen Anne PDF

A personal conflict rages at courtroom for the affections of a childless queen, who needs to quickly identify her successor--and hence be sure the way forward for the British Empire.   it's the starting of the eighteenth century and William of Orange is demise. quickly Anne is topped queen, yet to courtroom insiders, the identify of the approaching sovereign is Sarah Churchill.

Download PDF by John Carey: The Intellectuals And The Masses: Pride and Prejudice Among

During this landmark research, John Carey analyzes the elitest perspectives of a few of the main hugely revered literary icons of the past due nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. This e-book, as outlined in his preface, "is concerning the reaction of the English literary intelligentsia to the hot phenomenon of mass tradition. " Readers can be stunned to profit that H.

Download PDF by Joyce, James; Knowles, Sebastian David Guy; Joyce, James;: Before daybreak : "After the Race" and the origins of

Joyce’s “After the Race” is a doubtless basic story, traditionally unloved by means of critics. but whilst magnified and dismantled, the tale yields staggering political, philosophic, and ethical intricacy. In sooner than dawn, Cóilín Owens exhibits that “After the Race” is way greater than a narrative approximately Dublin on the time of the 1903 Gordon Bennett Cup Race: in truth, it's a microcosm of a few of the problems such a lot vital to Joycean scholarship.

Extra resources for 5,000 Great One Liners

Example text

They asked me to provide proof of a dress. A librarian walks into a bar and asks for a book on irony. ’ Three words: beach holiday albums. Just saw the 3D screening of Harry Potter. The cinema was completely full of nerds in those Harry Potter glasses. If women are so obsessed with big cocks, why are they so happy when they make a smaller tampon? ’ What? Where the hell did he buy that from? Two men walk into a bar, and the third one ducks. Junk: something you keep for years and throw away two weeks before you need it.

That shut him up. I wanted to propose to my girlfriend over the phone. So I gave her a ring. Serving time in prison can sometimes be described as ‘a stretch on the inside’. I wonder where that phrase originated…? My wife just told me she wanted to have a baby. I didn’t have the balls to tell her I was castrated. My girlfriend just texted me to say that she has just stuck a whole lemon up her pussy. That might not seem like a big deal but she’s dyslexic. Typical Americans, making a national holiday out of a Will Smith film.

OCD sufferers: their days are numbered. Do cross-eyed teachers have trouble controlling their pupils? I needed to measure my waist, but I couldn’t find the tape measure anywhere. In the end I just shoved a ruler up my arse and multiplied it by pi. According to Einstein, E = MC2. For me, E = a great night out. ’ He said, ‘That’s amazing! ’ The wife said she’s sick of me ‘always being right’. So I left. People who confuse the metaphorical and the factual make my head literally explode. My mate just got sacked from his quality control job at the match factory.

Download PDF sample

5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker


by Joseph
4.0

Rated 4.85 of 5 – based on 20 votes